Wow, dial up is really fast at 7am.
This morning was obviously the deadline for me to do something more mindless than the last mindless thing I did, and so it was, and still is, obviously.
I'm staying with my aunt and uncle in the great area of the "upstate" in South Carolina. We're leaving at some point for Charleston for a foot race on Saturday across the Cooper River Bridge. Yay. I became aware of the fact that ONE of their three dogs is accustomed to sleeping in the guest room (otherwise known as "Rachels room" when I'm present) but that's ok, because snuggly dogs are fun. So Shakes, the oversized mutt puppy, slept with me and was a very nice bed mate. After being frequently awakened by him repositioning, me repositioning, or the occasional sound of my cell phone going dead, I finally rose from the ashes around 6:45am. I tried getting him up too but he doesn't seem to be a morning person.
So I walked to the kitchen and thought "hmm, coffee..." because I'm an addict, yes. And I proceeded to wash out the decanter and plastic filter holder and such, and then dried them and began the search for coffee filters and the brown grains that yeild heaven-in-a-cup around this time everyday, both of which were nestled neatly beside the coffee maker. And I might note that of course they have a new age coffee maker like Andy and Rob do that has this strange digital looking clock on it, which I have yet to find the purpose for but that's beside the point. I filled the decanter to 6 cups with water and then found the filter, placed it in the filter rest, put the filter rest "lid?" on, closed the top, poured in the water, and plugged that sucker in.
A few seconds later, contrary to the soothing sound of perking coffee I so hoped to hear, was that horrible sound of, yes, coffee burning. Hmm. So I looked at the coffee pot only to find that ALL of the coffee was pouring down behind the pot "what the hell" I thought, because I couldn't say it out loud since everyone else is still asleep. And I unplugged the coffee maker and began investigating. It appeared there was a lever that normally, when depressed, allowed coffee to flow into the decanter. But this was not the case. I could only think that maybe it was one of those coffee makers that you had to line up exactly right for the coffee to go in, lined it up to what appeared to be the right angle necessary for the coffee to flow into the decanter instead of onto the counter, plugged it back in, and pressed go. Again the coffee flowed directly behind the pot. So I unplugged it again, and took the decanter out. It became apparent that the lever I THOUGHT needed to be depressed, was instead supposed to be placed inside the decanter, directing the coffee flow INTO the pot instead of behind it.
And there I began to fume:
"This is way to complicated for this family. Do they really go through this everymorning? Making sure the lever is IN the pot. Theres no way, theres no way they do this without fucking it up, and WHY THE HELL is it even necessary, there is never a trick to making perked coffee. Why does it have to be like brain surgery? Tell me? WHY?" And at this point I was muttering to myself, wondering if anyone could hear the burning coffee and thinking they were probably lying in bed thinking "she hasn't figured it out yet, HAH. she'll come in an ask any minute now"
I refused to give in. I made sure the lever was IN the pot, and plugged it back in. But the same thing happened. At least this time more of the coffee was getting into the pot, but it just seemed like a ridiculous process to have to go through. I mean, isn't it supposed to be easy? Because most people have coffee in the morning to WAKE UP. It shouldn't be so difficult when people are assumedly still groggy from just rolling out of bed. Freak!
Depressed about not having coffee yet, I went to the laundry to try my hand at washing some clothes before we left. Ok, actually just a bra and underwear I wanted clean for the trip. So I put some other clothes in with it to make a "load" and turned the settings to their appropriate dials, and pulled the dial to start. Water started rushing into the washer and I was pleased, at least SOMETHING liquid was going where it needed to go.
Heading back into the kitchen I decided to give it one more shot. I began cleaning the burner and the lever, and wiping the counter top. I work best in a clean environment. Most of the time, at least. And I walked over to the sink to get a sponge to sop up the coffee that was still on the counter under the coffee maker.
Then it occurred to me. There was a black object sitting at the side of the counter, bearing a striking resemblance to a filter holder.
I was floored.
All that time I had been trying to make coffee without even having the filter holder in the machine. What kind of fucking idiot forgets that? I mean, how did I even get the filter and coffee in there without noticing? AGH. So I dumbly took it to the coffee maker, took out the filter lid thingy, lifted out the filter and wet coffee grounds, put them in the coffee filter holder, and put it all back in. Yea, it all fit rather perfectly, and after a few attempts at plugging random kitchen appliances other than the coffee maker in, I got it working.
And now I can't figure out why the hell the washing machine wont start agitating.
sigh.
I dont need anyone to pull an April fools on me, because I already did it to myself.
hah
