I'm reading again. Not sure if many know this, but when I read, I tend to take on some magical power from the author/writer and it has the same effects as an antidepressant on my mood and general self-image. But mainly, it makes me want to write. And it makes me LIVE in a novel, where everything I experience is something that, in my head, I write down in the imaginary memoir that I have been writing since I was...oh, I don't know...really really young.
But whenever I think of becoming one, I get this deep inner anxiety and decide to be okay for now with my inner, imaginary novella. And sometimes I blog.
So today I returned from Beaufort, SC. A few weeks ago I realized, very happily, that my family has LONG time friends only 1.5 hrs away. It's like I knew this but it wasn't floating on my present mind. I meant to go last weekend with Robert but complications prevented an enjoyable visit for us, so I swore to return, and did. I arrived in Okatie around 2pm on Saturday, was greeted warmly by Don and Helen, directed to settle into the guest cottage, was fed (Don's special greasy rice) and then promptly escorted to the dock to begin my reason for going: to learn the simple art of casting for shrimp.
Saturday night as my (thoroughly soiled) cotton skirt and tank top soaked in the sink upstairs, we enjoyed a wonderful dinner of rice, stewed tomatoes and zucchini, steamed sugar snap peas, hot bread and Portuguese "Green" wine.
I was staying in the guest house with Don's sister Marjorie...one of the most absolutely delightful women I have met to-date. She was staying in the master bed room downstairs and I chose the loft bedroom (up the 2.5ft wide staircase to the room-on-the-roof) over the two twins downstairs. Don and I went to cast a few more times after dinner, then I sat with them on their screened porch for a bit before retiring to the cottage to watch Law and Order with Marjie and her little dog Sarah.
Breakfast was set for 8am at Don and Helen's. Marj and I had a cup of coffee and talked on the porch about why her tomato plant had never blossomed before walking across the yard. After eating (shrimp and grits, sliced tomato, hot bread with butter and honey) Don and I boarded his golf cart once more, this time to explore his land where his fish pond, pine grove and 1948 ford tractor (that still runs) reside...and to pick blueberries at his daughters house. We were back by 10:15 and I decided to begin packing to head home. When I returned to throw my bags in the car I found several bags of fresh veggies, several pounds of frozen shrimp, more blueberries, a baby rosemary plant, a baby azalea and the coffee can of gardenias I had picked out in the woods as he was proving to me that the tractor DID still run.
And if you can't tell, I have concluded that this was a blissful, perfect weekend. There is nothing else that I wanted to do. I drove home on back roads through Jasper and Chatham County and didn't even mind when, around 12:30, my air conditioner quit working.
At 4:15 I decided to go to the pool. That was when my confidence was heavily challenged, but I'm glad I went. Yes, I'm a social worker, I can navigate almost ANY social scenario and I am NOT afraid of people....at least not when I'm working, shopping, eating or any other relatively purposeful activity....but going to the pool alone is terrifying, going RUNNING in public is terrifying. Yes I feel better for doing it, yes it's good for me, no I have no REAL reason to feel that way, but the truth is....in general, most people scare the living hell out of me (oh wait, is that a direct contradiction?). Anyway, I went to the pool, sat in the corner (in the shade b/c I'm still nursing a burn from LAST weekend) and plotted to get in the water after the snooty sorority sisters and their sperry-wearing wanna-be boyfriends had left...but ended up reading many many chapters, sweating out any water I drank today, doing a smidgen of people watching and then wrapping up in my sarong before navigating my way out of the pool area (all the while certain the three 'kids' in the pool were secretly looking at me and whispering "who the hell does she think she is, and WHAT is she wearing, and ohmygod look at that cellulite")
haha. I know no one really gives a hoot. and I had already inspected the other females at the pool and determined I was NOT older, uglier, frumpier or fatter than the majority of them...okay maybe frumpier (I mean, I did arrive wrapped in a sarong, wearing a long sleeved cotton blouse, ball cap and sunglasses...oh well)...so I am hopping in the shower and wearing something comfortable to go out for pizza with friends and thus will conclude my perfect weekend.
adios, ciao, a tout a leur, buenas noches...see you later little blog
