Saturday, January 28, 2006
quip of the day
every so often, someone comes up with a really great commercial. i, for one, am a "laughingly good commercial" fan. and i have been known to watch a relatively bad channel if they air the same good commercial a few times every 30 mins. it's how i get some of my more satisfying kicks.
congratulations to the writers for the following companies. they are, frankly, hilarious.
Milky Way
KMart
Vonage
in that order. but vonage has had the lead for a while, for the record.
geico, on the other hand...FOR THE LOVE OF ALLAH! NO MORE TALKING GECKO!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
oh for blogs sake
yesterday i was washing a load of whites and somehow as i was pouring the clorox into the specialized bleach receptacle, about a tablespoon of it splashed into my right eyeball. at this point i'm not sure how much longer my right eyeball will last, as it is the eyeball that always catches anything that could remotely damage an eyeball. bugs, paint stripper, mascara,unidentifiable organic matter...etc. so, bleach. i have a history with bleach, mainly because, well, i love bleach. the idea of bleach is awesome. it BLEACHES things white, and it kills the AIDS virus. and because i'm someone who can dwell myself right into a panic attact at 4 in the morning because there was a lot of blood when i killed the mosquito on my arm last summer and a billboard that i read every day on my way home reads "Brother, you're all the same to me. HIV," i like stuff that kills deadly viruses. just the idea of it is comforting.
and to give a little history to the story, i get ringworm. i know it sounds gross, but some people have skin that is just more desirable for growing fungus than others. and i guess i'm one of them. if i so much as look at an animal or human who has a hidden or visible spot of it, bam. i got it too. i get it about once or twice a year when it's hot and muggy and the conditions are prime for growth. and ringworm is a bitch because it takes a stinking month of twice-daily care to get rid of. so, about three summers ago, during an internal tantrum over discovering yet another emerging ring beside the one that was almost gone, and having used the very last of my trusted tea tree oil at the very same moment, i became desperate, and vengeful. i decided that if bleach kills AIDS, bleach can kill ringworm. so i moistened a cotton ball with a dab of bleach and taped it over the ringworm on my leg, determined to get rid of it no matter what. naturally.
the guy i was dating at the time was a pharmacy student who was about to transfer to UGA Pharm school, so I'd say he knew a little bit about chemistry, and when he heard about what i did, i received the proverbial slap on the back of the head effect from the look he gave me. the bleach swab was removed, and i was scolded, by him right then, by my soon-to-officially-be father#2, and by my body for the next 4 months. for the next four months my hands, feet, and chest turned into a harvest of boil-like blisters. the doctor i finally went to wasn't particularly interesting in figuring it out, but said if i'd gotten bleach in my bloodstream it was possible my body was ridding itself of the poison by pushing it to the skins surface. oh well. the blisters finally went away, and no more bleach-cures for me. and i know i'm not really THAT stupid. but i really hate ringworm.
meanwhile, back at the ranch, the bleach splashed into my eyeball, and i ran frantically into my roommates bathroom, which is right next to the laundryroom, to rinse my eyeball. i ran in, turned on the first light switch i felt (because i had both eyes closed at this point, dont ask why) leaned over the sink and began dousing my eyeball with water.
just then, above the screams of pain coming from my eye, and the rush of water in the sink, and the frantic bewilderment of being momentarily blinded, i heard a terrible noise. it sounded like a bone being slowly scraped across a cheese grater. then it sounded like a prop-plane choking in mid-air and beginning it's decent back to the earth. it was a horrible metallic sound, and i squealed a classic rachel squeal, and jumped. when i jumped i put my hand on the sink to brace myself for whatever horrible thing was about to happen to me, but my hand immediatly slid because it was wet, and i flopped backwards and hit my head on the towel rack and fell in the floor with a nice big thud. so, being cornered, i assumed the "chill-out and be rational" self therapy that would be necessary for me to escape the apartment even though i was trapped in a bathroom with no windows and only one vent for the fan
the fan. the damned fan.
the fan in robs bathroom has been dying since we moved in. it used to sound like an engine warming up, and then one day it sounded different and rob commented that it had just started making that weird noise. but that day i wasn't home alone in a chilly apartment with all the lights out for energy conservation. the position i was in at the moment the fan gurgled to life yesterday was the position i imagine my cat stella feels when she just knocked over something that probably nearly killed her and then i angrily chase her around the apartment and close doors to all her getaway areas while i'm chasing her, and eventually she runs herself into a corner and rolls over and begins to shake (it's how she gets out of being reprimanded, by acting traumatized before you even scold her). that's how i think i felt crouched in the floor of robs bathroom. traumatized. by a spalsh of bleach and the ventilation fan.
today i'm going to the office to request the fan be replaced. we're out of bleach. and the spot on my shin that i've been convinced was dermatitis since summertime, has been determined by my paramedic friend to look "a lot like ringworm"
ta da
and to give a little history to the story, i get ringworm. i know it sounds gross, but some people have skin that is just more desirable for growing fungus than others. and i guess i'm one of them. if i so much as look at an animal or human who has a hidden or visible spot of it, bam. i got it too. i get it about once or twice a year when it's hot and muggy and the conditions are prime for growth. and ringworm is a bitch because it takes a stinking month of twice-daily care to get rid of. so, about three summers ago, during an internal tantrum over discovering yet another emerging ring beside the one that was almost gone, and having used the very last of my trusted tea tree oil at the very same moment, i became desperate, and vengeful. i decided that if bleach kills AIDS, bleach can kill ringworm. so i moistened a cotton ball with a dab of bleach and taped it over the ringworm on my leg, determined to get rid of it no matter what. naturally.
the guy i was dating at the time was a pharmacy student who was about to transfer to UGA Pharm school, so I'd say he knew a little bit about chemistry, and when he heard about what i did, i received the proverbial slap on the back of the head effect from the look he gave me. the bleach swab was removed, and i was scolded, by him right then, by my soon-to-officially-be father#2, and by my body for the next 4 months. for the next four months my hands, feet, and chest turned into a harvest of boil-like blisters. the doctor i finally went to wasn't particularly interesting in figuring it out, but said if i'd gotten bleach in my bloodstream it was possible my body was ridding itself of the poison by pushing it to the skins surface. oh well. the blisters finally went away, and no more bleach-cures for me. and i know i'm not really THAT stupid. but i really hate ringworm.
meanwhile, back at the ranch, the bleach splashed into my eyeball, and i ran frantically into my roommates bathroom, which is right next to the laundryroom, to rinse my eyeball. i ran in, turned on the first light switch i felt (because i had both eyes closed at this point, dont ask why) leaned over the sink and began dousing my eyeball with water.
just then, above the screams of pain coming from my eye, and the rush of water in the sink, and the frantic bewilderment of being momentarily blinded, i heard a terrible noise. it sounded like a bone being slowly scraped across a cheese grater. then it sounded like a prop-plane choking in mid-air and beginning it's decent back to the earth. it was a horrible metallic sound, and i squealed a classic rachel squeal, and jumped. when i jumped i put my hand on the sink to brace myself for whatever horrible thing was about to happen to me, but my hand immediatly slid because it was wet, and i flopped backwards and hit my head on the towel rack and fell in the floor with a nice big thud. so, being cornered, i assumed the "chill-out and be rational" self therapy that would be necessary for me to escape the apartment even though i was trapped in a bathroom with no windows and only one vent for the fan
the fan. the damned fan.
the fan in robs bathroom has been dying since we moved in. it used to sound like an engine warming up, and then one day it sounded different and rob commented that it had just started making that weird noise. but that day i wasn't home alone in a chilly apartment with all the lights out for energy conservation. the position i was in at the moment the fan gurgled to life yesterday was the position i imagine my cat stella feels when she just knocked over something that probably nearly killed her and then i angrily chase her around the apartment and close doors to all her getaway areas while i'm chasing her, and eventually she runs herself into a corner and rolls over and begins to shake (it's how she gets out of being reprimanded, by acting traumatized before you even scold her). that's how i think i felt crouched in the floor of robs bathroom. traumatized. by a spalsh of bleach and the ventilation fan.
today i'm going to the office to request the fan be replaced. we're out of bleach. and the spot on my shin that i've been convinced was dermatitis since summertime, has been determined by my paramedic friend to look "a lot like ringworm"
ta da
Thursday, January 19, 2006
look at the world with a smilin eye and laugh at the devil
So tonight is the Alison Krauss concert. The Robster and I will be travelin to C-town in the next thirty minutes to see Ma and Pa and have some bluegrass fun.
The last however many days it's been since I posted have been your regular howevertheygo days, so I can't say theres a lot to talk about. I've finished reading a few books...mom gave me The Bean Trees for Christmas. A Barbara Kingsolver I had yet to have read when she gifted me with it. I was standoffish b/c I'd heard it wasn't that great, but have to say I enjoyed it...if for no other reason than finding out the origins of some of the characters I've read about in her other books. I have yet to acquire new copies of Poisonwood and Prodigal Summer. I used to loan books to people, and a few of those people just never gave them back. I guess I assume that if they want them enough to have ignored my queries (rare as they were), maybe they just liked the book that much. And that's okay with me. I'd like to have new hardbacks anyway.
Sunny day here. It was so cold this morning everyone was bundled in about 7 layers and scraping ice off their windsheilds while their cars struggled to life...the day will bring temps in the comfy upper 60's...and even better is it's always warmer in Columbus. Whenever I'm visiting down there I always tend to say something along the lines of "I do love springtime in Columbus, that's what I always miss living in Atlanta"...and it'll set Mom and Wayne off into a tangential tizzy about my getting a job there and moving back. That doubtful, but I am sortof stuck in the Ga area for a while, seeing how mom isn't likely to live anywhere else after they get married and build...and while I do want to live elsewhere, I'm inclined to stay within driving distance from my Ma. I guess that's a southern family thing...hard to part.
I've been watching a western Welcome To Hardtimes, so I'm in western mode. Its not obvious is iT?
K...gotta scramble. Supposed to leave in 20.
cheerio
The last however many days it's been since I posted have been your regular howevertheygo days, so I can't say theres a lot to talk about. I've finished reading a few books...mom gave me The Bean Trees for Christmas. A Barbara Kingsolver I had yet to have read when she gifted me with it. I was standoffish b/c I'd heard it wasn't that great, but have to say I enjoyed it...if for no other reason than finding out the origins of some of the characters I've read about in her other books. I have yet to acquire new copies of Poisonwood and Prodigal Summer. I used to loan books to people, and a few of those people just never gave them back. I guess I assume that if they want them enough to have ignored my queries (rare as they were), maybe they just liked the book that much. And that's okay with me. I'd like to have new hardbacks anyway.
Sunny day here. It was so cold this morning everyone was bundled in about 7 layers and scraping ice off their windsheilds while their cars struggled to life...the day will bring temps in the comfy upper 60's...and even better is it's always warmer in Columbus. Whenever I'm visiting down there I always tend to say something along the lines of "I do love springtime in Columbus, that's what I always miss living in Atlanta"...and it'll set Mom and Wayne off into a tangential tizzy about my getting a job there and moving back. That doubtful, but I am sortof stuck in the Ga area for a while, seeing how mom isn't likely to live anywhere else after they get married and build...and while I do want to live elsewhere, I'm inclined to stay within driving distance from my Ma. I guess that's a southern family thing...hard to part.
I've been watching a western Welcome To Hardtimes, so I'm in western mode. Its not obvious is iT?
K...gotta scramble. Supposed to leave in 20.
cheerio
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Spiderman Boots
It's these little things, they can pull you under.
Live your life filled with joy and wonder.
I always knew this altogether thunder
was lost in our little lives.
-rem,sweetness follows
Live your life filled with joy and wonder.
I always knew this altogether thunder
was lost in our little lives.
-rem,sweetness follows
Monday, January 09, 2006
Sunday, January 01, 2006
here here, new year
I left the apartment around 12:30pm yesterday and hopped on 285 to begin making my way to Columbus....about 30mins down the road I remembered I'd forgotten to drop the rent off at the office before I left. It wasn't a big deal, I'm going back today, which is the due date, so I could do it then (and I realized that as I was dropping it in the slot) but I turned around and went back. My neighbor flagged me down to inquire if we had mice, and I disclosed that we had secret mice police protecting our apt and would send them over any time she needed. Still, unsettling to know there are critters in the complex, tho not surprising.
Okay so the party was a hit, as it always is...and everyone had a great time :) I took myself to bed around 2am with a belly full of cranberry and vodka and champagne and a throat sore from laughing and talking with all the people who were here. Mom passed out gifts that denoted who was having the next party. I got Valentine cards, so we're having the V-day party, and everyone seemed really excited about coming to Atlanta and hosting their own gatherings respectively, and I'm looking forward to that :) so here I sit, slowly rehydrating, blogging, etcetera. Ready to go home.
Hopefully the next few days will involve a good mtb ride, and a little moolah from boss Vanman. Hopefully everyone had a great New Years Eve, Happy 2006 :)
Okay so the party was a hit, as it always is...and everyone had a great time :) I took myself to bed around 2am with a belly full of cranberry and vodka and champagne and a throat sore from laughing and talking with all the people who were here. Mom passed out gifts that denoted who was having the next party. I got Valentine cards, so we're having the V-day party, and everyone seemed really excited about coming to Atlanta and hosting their own gatherings respectively, and I'm looking forward to that :) so here I sit, slowly rehydrating, blogging, etcetera. Ready to go home.
Hopefully the next few days will involve a good mtb ride, and a little moolah from boss Vanman. Hopefully everyone had a great New Years Eve, Happy 2006 :)
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