what a sad parade

I can't say that I love Jesus
That would be a hollow claim
He did make some observations
And I'm quoting them today
"Judge not lest ye be judged"
What a beautiful refrain
The studio audience disagrees
Have his lambs all gone astray?

Call me a leper

"You are lost and disillusioned!"
What an awful thing to say
I know this show doesn't flatter
It means nothing to me
I thought I might help them understand
But what an ugly thing to see
"I am not an animal"
subtitled under the screen

Call me a leper

When I tried to tell my story
They cut me off to take a break
I sat silent 5 commercials
I had nothing left to say
The talk show host was index-carded
All organized and blank
The other guests were scared and hardened
What a sad parade


____________________

when i was a high school senior, after my days of running track took one of the many pitiful places of my past, i discovered i was better at distance running--not award winning, but definitly better than i was at sprinting...i mean, who was i kidding, i am about as 'white' as they come....i do remember elisha martin kicked some ass though...she was awesome--anyway, New Adventures In Hi-Fi was the album that I would jog with...New Test Leper was the song that, after How the West Was Won set the pace, did some good maintenance for the remaining few miles. this is an awesome album. my favorite REM.


.your eyes are burning holes through me.

word to the weiz

carrot juice and herbal tea, for some reason, don't mix very well. just so you know.

we hear he is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was

so, back to the daily grind. the big city. the lights, the sirens, and of course, the people.

i sortof took a nice week long escape from the realities of atlanta living and vegged in the carolina wilderness that surrounds our upstate hacienda. mom, wayne, stefan and i were all there sharing the old house, and it was a good thing :) it was also great to see the family. everyone was in a good mood, or at least was doing a great job holding their tounge. some of our members are proudly up in their years, and i'm glad to have that gene run in the family! but elder age sometimes leads to being a bit more persnickity...so, i was happy that we were all able to have a nice time.

i've decided that after a week of complete and total meltdown of any previously established healthy eating routines i might have somewhat maintained throughout the year, that starting tomorrow (tues. b/c mondays are just horrible days to START anything on. i mean, you'd THINK they'd be great, they're convieniently at the START of a new week, but does anyone ever notice just how many people are late to work on monday? it seems a phenomenon...and no way to start anything important) so, tuesdays are my day for starting things. and tomorrow i'm beginning a 24hr "detox"...but wait, before you think i mean i'm going for a colon cleanse, i just mean more juice and water, and more whole food as opposed to thanksgiving turkey, dressing, and grrrrravvvy! woo....today i prepared by buying organic carrot juice (on sale at kroger), apple juice, orange juice, apples and a pomegranet

and organic chocolate...i'm saving it a reward. HAH.


i believe thats all folks! guuud nite!

so you think your family is dysfunctional eh?

My mother and aunt recently traveled to ElPaso, TX to visit their youngest sister Jackie a few weeks ago. As she always does, and as both of my parents have always done, she brought back presents. I'm not sure what she brought Stefan, but I was given the Catholic Rosary I've remarked a wish for at some point, and a switch plate for my bedroom light switch that was hand painted and decorated by a native of New Mexico...cool stuff, you know. Then she said my aunt Sheila had also sent me something, so I opened it to find a funky picture frame...black, with with polkadots and a little goofy lady standing at one side with a hat on, adorned with bright pink feathers. As weird as it sounds, it's actuallly kindof cute. The woman, whose legs make up the left support for the frame, is holding a sign that says "My Dysfunctional Family"...so of course I was required to grace it with a picture of non other than...well, my dysfunctional family.

And so I began perusing my stacks of photos. And all I can say for this is, a picture is worth a thousand words.





sortof scratchy from the scan, and should have been on this blog a month ago. yet, still stunningly hilarious. notice me in an elbow-lean on my dads head. his odd expression, and me, understandably confused at just who was standing beside me...

(back row from left: Uncle Buzz, Uncle Ricky, Nana and Papa; Second Row from left: Mom, Grandma Barnes, Suzanne Marie, Aunt Sheila; Third Row: Aunt Jackie, me (a really scary ballerina, wearing the tutu I put on everyday after school to dance to Mr.Rogers Neighborhood), Logan, Stefan(he always got to be the witch), and our dad in front...apparently as an albino tribesman, hence the faux tiger skin, and the hippie headband, appropriately stuffed with...rabbit fur?)

the perpetual learning of awareness

The weather reminds me that fall really is here, and the parking lots remind me of my first semester in college at USCS when the oak leaves would blow down and whisk around in the wind. So I've been in Atlanta, officially, for 2 years now. That seems like a long time for me, considering in the last 5 years the longest I've stayed in one city was about 2 years...and that was when I was living with my mama. Which, I might add, would be great right now. Aside from loving my mothers company, I enjoyed a rent-free, utility bill-free, and free grocery life. Why DID I move? oh yea. to get out of yet another small town atmosphere, to stretch my arms in a big city, to be on my own, and try my hand at starting my life. but so far I still depend on my mother....one day I'll be that self sufficient woman I aspire to be. Either that or I'll win the lotto. Get me the winning ticket Lauren!

now, I'm packing to return to South Carolina. This morning there was a segment on the morning show that touched on Elder Abuse, and it happens everywhere. And my grandmother is in a place where she doesn't need to be. It's difficult for me to feel responsible and helpless at the same time.

But if she ever wondering if I loved her, she has to know now that I do, because I have to enter the firey hell of Woodruff to visit her.

Ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me.....I hope.

An obligatory blog.

ok. I get the feeling I should post something to prove I'm alive. I guess.

I have a lot of things I could rant and gripe about. Because today is not a good day. But I'm going to spare you all, even though I find online bitching to be highly therapeutic. And so you know that I'm working extra hard to be HAPPY. woo!

the dearest LAPO came to visit this weekend, which was grrrreat. Friday night Lauren, Rob, and I went to Ruby Tuesdays for margaritas and food, then returned to the hacienda for a game of "Scene It"(which I might add, I suck at) then Saturday Laur and I trekked to Stone Mountain. Saturday night Lauren and I cooked at home, and watched Wimbelton (which, I might add, sucks...eek! ok ok, for a good 30 minutes its OK), then we spent 30 strait minutes trying to get a good picture of both of us (think, two women who are equally over-analytical of their (some would say imaginary) photogenic inadequacies) and Sunday Laur departed early after a cup of joe and some morning laughs. And I'm going to SC wednesday to have a complimentary Christmas gift visit to her wonderful hair stylist, and I cannot WAIT... I might leave today!)


For the last two days my turtle Jimmy has made every effort to escape his tank. He's gotten to be pretty successful as he is right now scampering along the hallway floor, and knocking his shell against Robs closed bathroom door. He makes trips around the apt perimeter, and usually focuses on some closed door that he's sure, with enough shell ramming, will open, and reveal a magical portal to turtle-eden. And if Kris ever reads this blog, tell Will I'll pay him to build me a big tank.

And my roommate is sick. or at least he was yesterday. so I hope he's feeling better today. And I hope I dont get sick too. I've already had a bug twice this year, so I'm trying to make it to 2006 without another plague. Thank goodness I'm not in school for the flu season. I keep thinking I'll begin to miss it, but all I get are more reasons why I dont. And I will go back (actually if I dont, I'm screwed) so at some point I'll have to face reading dry and aimless scientific material, taking exams, writing essays in that horrible format called APA, and enduring the onset of school-related illnesses....people wiping their snot all over keyboards, sneezing unabashedly into the air without kleenex, and couging without covering their mouths. OR covering their mouths with their hands, then opening doors, using keyboards, and running the risk of touching people like me, who think it's all rather disgusting to have to do all that for a piece of paper that QUALIFIES me to have the ACCREDATIONS for a so-called "Better" job. damn this system is screwed up. All I want to do is learn more and help people.

A nice house and a new car would be good too.

MWAHAHAH.

peace-out