t minus 10 weeks
a few months ago I had a very mild mini meltdown regarding "just wanting my house in order" which was a mostly direct result of building frustration from no longer being able to do every single thing on my own....like carrying heavy furniture upstairs by myself
Rob seemed to try to understand, but I just didn't feel that he quite got my level of desperation and panic and total utter frazzlement of my momentary self perceived "uselessness" and need for reliance on others for help
until last week. Friday night to be exact.
We just returned from a relaxing evening hour or so by the pool and I was brainstorming dinner options
(which is me wandering quietly between the kitchen and living room (and bedroom) forgetting and remembering to think about dinner options because it's 7:28 and I hate eating late and did we switch the laundry? I don't want to cook but we really don't need to go out anywhere but I do need more dish detergent and there's a smudge on the stainless steel refrigerator door and I wonder what's in the freezer (for the 1347890245862346892456897th time) and we still need to level this thing because the door never closes right and oh hi kitty want me to brush you? look Rob, look what Merlin is doing isn't he so cute!? and anyway I don't want crappy food but I don't want to cook and ohmygod jeopardy has already started....)
I noticed the blank stare and disregarded it but when I noticed it again I asked if something was wrong. he took a few minutes to respond and THEN....then I saw it. the crazy eye. Rob gets the crazy eye when he's overwhelmed and needs to tap into dimension X. having witnessed this many times over the course of our relationship, I now believe he actually has the ability to see into another realm--he no longer perceives what is going on around him but is looking intently, and wide-eyed, into the zone.
I finally wrangled him back to earth and was like "hey, what's with the eye?"
His response: "I've just been thinking. I mean, we have like, two months left to get everything together and....I mean, it's a lot"
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
and our wedding song comes back to me
at last
