Moving about

We have lived in this space for over a year now.  This space I didn't want to come back to and did. This space that I begrudgingly nurtured until I started to love it again on a long term basis. It seemed the dust had just (and finally) begun to settle, I was convinced I could tolerate South Carolina and had accepted it into my "5-10 year plan." Then Rob came home and said he suspected a position in the northeast may open soon, and also that he may be approached about it, and also that he wanted it if he was. I said ok. I don't know any other way to be. Somehow it will end up being a good thing. In the long run.

In the short run. We are moving to New York.

I'm thinking about it like a dream. I'm looking for houses and booking flights and mapping out travel plans and it's like a dream. And I think I have to keep it that way so it doesn't overwhelm me. I do things during the week that are organizational but in the back of my mind "it will make it easier when we're leaving" is the real reason. I think about how to re arrange the house so it will be ready for us when we return at Christmas. I talk in my head to the house and the trees about us leaving. Will you be okay? Have we loved you enough, in this short time, to weather our absence? And sometimes I cry.